Monday, January 20, 2014
So I spent days searching the internet for articles or blog posts or quotes or photos about being single. I have been single many times throughout my life, but not single when I didnt want to be. Let me make myself a little more clear. I am still in love with my ex, but we live 2500 miles apart from each other and I'm afraid once we live in the same city again he won't want me. It's a tough realization and a scary thought to have that the man I want to be with for the rest of my life doesn't find it convenient and doesn't want to be with me when we're far away. Isn't it supposed to be natural to want to see someone or want to talk to someone or go out of your way to be with the person you love? Maybe he's not the one for me, or maybe the timing is off, but I just look back to our year and a half together, our apartment, our drive across the country, and we never fought. Sure, we bickered, but we always smiled and laughed it away. But now, only time will tell what will happen. But the thing is, if he wants to get back together with me, why should I when he doesn't want me now. Technically, he doesn't deserve someone who cares about him as much as I do. But I want to be with him. Whhhhhhhy is love so confusing. Is this love? asldkfj I don't even know anymore.